You Know You're Drinking too Much Coffee When...

Image via WikipediaYou know you're drinking too much coffee when...
you answer the door before people knock.
Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
you ski uphill.
you grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
you haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
you lick your coffeepot clean.
your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
you chew on other people's fingernails.
your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
you can type 60 words per minute ... with your feet.
you can jump-start your car without cables.
all your kids are named "Joe."

You Know It's Time to Go Home When...

Image via Wikipedia1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.
2. You've just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in the ladies room.
3. You suddenly decide you want to kick someone's ass.
4. In your last trip to "pee" you realize you now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess you were just four hours ago.
5. You drop your 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor, pick it up and carry on eating.
6. You start crying.
7. There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.
8. You've found a deeper side to the office nerd.