When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker."
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When the elevator doors shut, assuringly say, "It's ok, they will open up again!"
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Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
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Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.
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Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
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Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.
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Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
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When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
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Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
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Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
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Meow occasionally.
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Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
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Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
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Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
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Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
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Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
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When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"
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Say "Ding!" at each floor.
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Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
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Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
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Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
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Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
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Put a box on the floor and whenever somebody comes in, say "Do you hear clicking?"
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